You've heard of friends with benefits? Well, I like to have fake boyfriends with no benefits. See, I would never cheat on my husband, but I sure do like the IDEA of getting with some little cutie in his 20s (of which there are many in my comedy class). And lots of little cuties look to me to help them with their comedy career. I sure would like to take advantage of that situation!! But, alas, I can't. So, I have fake boyfriends.
What do you get as my fake boyfriend? Why, you get all of the drama of being my boyfriend, but none of the sex! What a deal! If you act now, you can get crazy late night texts in the middle of the night and jealous hissy fits if you hook up with other girls. The fake boyfriend plan does not include: sex, kissing, or blowjobs! As my fake boyfriend, you are required to compliment me and flirt with me at all times. I require a lot of attention! But, as your sugar mama, I will pay for everything, and as an added bonus, provide you with lots of stage time (this offer applies to comedians only). Call my 800 number if you wish to apply.