Thursday, April 10, 2008

Cougaring

The cougar is back in the cage. I am done. I’m out. I give up. I’m throwing in the towel. I have officially had enough. I have had enough of the drama, the hating on old people, the “me me me” attitude. Don’t they know it’s all about me me me? I am not your mama. I’m your sugar mama. There is a difference fucker. I am not here to stroke you and never be stroked in return. It’s not enough for you to show up and look good and throw me a bone every now and then. If I were a dog, that’d be great. I’m not. You should be happy to be with a woman like me. I am the comedy guru of Pasadena! Don’t you know who I am?


Sally writes: Another said Cougar has renounced her feline status. Sally Mullins has decided that No Cunt For Young Men will be the big winner at her box office this season. After a Superbowl weekend/cougar party debacle, in which a 23 year old fell asleep with his hand on her tit and ran out her room the next morning, Mullins has decided not to prowl for men in their twenties. Other incidents included a 25 year old who repeatedly cancelled so he could take naps and a 32 year old who kept calling her "Cougar Momma" incessantly. "He was a bit long in the tooth to be making me the saber tooth tiger,' complains Mullins- who got a 34 ½ year old in the door the day after her cougar party to get the job done." I had to buy some coke, but by golly he worked his ass off." Says ex-cougar Mullins, "30 plus guys know shit like this (points to vagina) doesn't grow on trees."

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