I Worship Comedy

I’m not a religious person. When you think about it, the only thing I really worship is comedy.

I don’t go to church; I go to comedy clubs.

I don’t recite prayers; I recite jokes.

My prophets are Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Lily Tomlin, and St. George Carlin.

In my church, we don’t pass wine. But, there is a two-drink minimum.

We don’t have wafers; we have chicken tenders.

My bible is my joke notebook. It is after all, the word of ME.

I do not have a crucifix; I have a microphone.

We do not confess, but sometimes we bomb.

In my church, Thou Shalt Kill!

We do not sing; we laugh.

I do not have a pulpit; I have a stage.

I do not crave salvation, but I’d love a little applause!

Can I get an “Amen”?

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