Pot O' Jokes

I think the fact that my parents don't believe in Evolution and I do... proves it's true.

A woman I know told a reporter that is doing a story on me that I could "drink you under the table." (What kind of fucked up thing is that to say to a reporter?) I said, "Me"? "I don't drink." She was like, "That's not what I heard." I said, "Are you sure she didn't say I could smoke you under the table... or I would DO you under the table?" The more I tried to defend myself, the more I sounded like someone in denial. I wanted to shout, "I'm not an alcoholic! I swear. I'm a pothead! Get it straight, damn it."

I found out that my daddy just went on a date. Then I heard that the highest rate of STDs right now is among Seniors. Shit. Now I have to have the condom talk with my daddy? He didn't even have it with me! I just got used to talking to my kids about sex; I can't talk to my daddy. Can't I just GET an STD instead? Please!