Family Potluck

I just spent a week in Florida visiting my husband’s family. I brought my joke notebook, but unfortunately, my in-laws are so nice that I couldn’t write any jokes! They are so sweet and positive that it’s creepy! After a few days, I couldn’t handle it. I was so out of sorts, I had to call my family… so they could criticize me stat!

That’s why I used to get freaked out by Leave it to Beaver. Nothing bad ever happened. No one ever yelled. Wally & Beaver were always scared their dad was gonna “clobber” them, but did they EVER get hit? Not even during sweeps! I used to get beat once a week with a leather strap whether I needed it or not. My mama shot my daddy once. That’s the sitcom I want to see!

At dinner the first night, we are sitting there with Chris’ parents, grandmother, brother, his wife and two kids and suddenly Chris’ daddy goes, “oh, I have something you might want. This guy I know gave it to me and I have no use for it.” He gets up from the table, goes into his room, comes back and throws a baggie on the table in front of everyone with 3 joints in it! He goes, “you have a use for this, right?” My husband and I just sat there with our mouths open. He kept going, “you can use this right? Can you use this?” Finally I said, “yes, we can use it. Thanks!” And everyone acted completely normal. I kept waiting for Aston Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’ve been punked (or Allen Funt depending on your age). It was shitty pot, btw, but it was totally worth it!

I just found out what my family in Georgia really thinks about me. They think I think I am better than them. That is really surprising to me. I always just assumed that they knew I was better than them!