Tuesday, February 12, 2008

New Potluck

I heard on NPR today that the situation in Kenya is getting really intense. Not only are they having riots and murders, but people are sending “Hate Texts”. That’s right, text messages of hate. People must have furious thumbs. “OMG I H8 U!”

Is anyone else watching Celebrity Rehab? I love that show! I totally can relate to Jeff Conway from Grease. You know, I think Celebrity Rehab is actually helping me! My husband’s asks, “How was your day honey?” I’m like, “Kenickie and I had a break- through in group.” I guess it’s cheaper than real rehab.

In California, people really put their kids on a pedestal. I have never seen such extravagant birthday parties for a child. In Georgia, you were lucky you didn’t get a whipping on your birthday, much less a moon bounce. We didn’t even know what a piƱata was. We just hit the gas tank with a stick.

I voted for Hilary. I just heard someone say they would never vote for her because of how she handled the whole Monica Lewinsky thing. I think she handled that with class. America is very lucky I am not first lady. I would have thrown Bill’s ass out on the White House lawn, cigars and all. I would have slashed the tires on Air Force One. They would have found Monica strangled to death with that blue dress. Then I would have fucked Al Gore.

Barack Obama has a secret. No, he's not a Muslim; he smokes cigarettes. He needs to quit immediately. We cannot have a smoker as President of the United States. I can’t imagine him stepping outside the UN in the middle of a meeting cause he's having a nicotine fit. We can't be going to war, Obama, cause you ain't got no nicarette! I know Clinton loved his cigars. But, I don't think he was smoking them.

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