Grad School

I registered again for school today at CSULA after a 6 month hiatus. I have three classes left on a Political Science Masters degree. The class I’m taking now is essentially the Graduate Research portion of the program. This is the fourth class of a series of four ass-kicking classes (including graduate statistics) regarding the research project each person must undertake in order to get the MS degree. I am basically terrified. The other two classes I have left will be a cake walk after this year-long research series. I’m not even that afraid of the culminating comp exam that awaits me at the finish of the program. I figure I can handle it; I took all the classes, right? I made no less than an A- throughout the research series, hell throughout grad school as a whole, including statistics! I have a cumulative 3.9 GPA.

So why am I terrified of the research project? My plan was to have done more of the research, ok any of the research in the 6 months I was off before taking this class. But, of course, I did not. I chose that time to focus on my ever-growing comedy school and production company. And, I think I might have a comedy career in there somewhere, although buried deep these days.

I have gone back and forth about whether or not to finish the degree. I don’t really need it. I mean, I’m a comedian for God sakes (although, it gave me a great political chunk in my act that I’m very proud of). But, I’m only three classes away! How can I quit now? I’ve been working on this degree for four years. Besides, I’m the only one in my family with a college degree at all; having a Masters would be an awesome feather in my cap, and give my nieces and nephews something to strive for and believe possible. It is an especially good example for Brandie and Stephen, my niece and nephew I am raising. They have seen everything I have gone through working for this degree.

Problem is that I will have little time to work on my business and the comedy book I am writing. I will have A LOT to do and little time to do it in. So, if I can’t go to lunch with you until December, don’t get pissed. I have my head in a book. Oh, and I’m freaking out!

Amo La Comedia

Bombing

I just had the worst set of my life! Holy shit! I took a comedy ass whooping tonight. It was a big crowd-full of people who fucking hated me! Good thing I already have a really low self-esteem or that would have made me feel bad about myself! I think that was the Universe's way of saying "Don't get cocky." Note taken!

Isn't is funny that no matter how long you've been doing comedy, you are still so wrapped up in the approval of the crowd in front of you? And by funny, I mean painful as shit. How many audiences have to validate me? How many toothless drunk bikers in the front row have to love me and think I'm funny for me to feel OK? After 20 years, how long is it going to take? As long as our mothers don't love us (comics), there will never be enough drunk bikers. There will never be enough validation.

Here's hoping I never have to appear in front of that group of people again!
Alas, tomorrow is another show!